Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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