I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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