I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
