Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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