I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
