Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Randomize
