I love black thongs
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
