I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
