im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize