I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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