butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
there is puke in my bra ... again
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