I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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