oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
