C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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