i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Randomize
