i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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