And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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