I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
