Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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