i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
