did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
