Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
