No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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