youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
If I die, sorry about rent.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
