Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
and you fell through a lawn chair
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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