I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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