awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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