I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
