Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
