I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
