Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
