you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
That was an excessively violent trivia night
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
