I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Randomize
