For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
