Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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