He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Dick very happy bro
we're so committed to being not committed
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
