And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Im part way to drunk.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
