I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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