lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
