I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
