I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
