the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
