When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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