hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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