I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Blow job season was short but glorious.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
BRING THE BAGELS
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
