My first STD was from a foam party
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize