Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
