at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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