someone threw a dead crab at me
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
