I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
