If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Just high enough for therapy.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
