Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
