Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
