i jhust puked up my retainher.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
