Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I will be naked everywhere
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Randomize
