nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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