he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
