Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
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