in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
