Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize