i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
