Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
