My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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