its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
