This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
