just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
